Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The beginning

Hawaii is beautiful... absolutely beautiful. Warm weather, sunny skies, fresh air. I usually don't like beaches and sunshine and deal better with cold stagnant polluted Jersey air but... I gotta say it's nice out here. Not sure if it's cause I'm in Waikiki, a tourist area, but people seem nice. Or maybe they reacting cause I find myself being nicer to the general public out here. In NJ I probably wouldn't have cracked a smile when asking or stopped to talk about anything or nothing. Either way, Hawaii is beautiful.



Just look at the place i'm staying at.


Just kidding, it's not that nice. It's a hostel which is actually right behind the building above. It's really cheap and it shows. So I find myself in a place i never have been abandoning some basic conveniences that I took for granted. A comfortable and secure home. The hostel is dingy, unsanitary. Even though John and the other dorm roommates seem nice enough, i find myself never leaving anything of value in the room. My laptop, wallet, electronics stay in my bag with me at all times. I've also given up what never seemed to be a luxury, face wash and hair gel... it just seems unnecessary at this point. Soap is enough. On top of it all, I've seen roaches. Not those giant ones but maybe a 1.5 cm long. It took me half the night to get over the thought that they'd probably be crawling over me in my sleep. I haven't really slept much anyway the first night. 2 hours here, down to the beach, 2 hours again, a call from a familiar voice. No pillow and i opted out of a blanket but I think i'll grab one tonight. Today begins the hunt to solve these housing issues... hopefully i can take a look at some places and find a nice roomate to move in with. Enough with the logistics though.

I'm not really sure what i'm doing here and need to allow myself more time to adjust before making any judgements about what i've done. Yesterday was a mixture of awe and curiousity, touring Waikiki, sitting on the beach, stopping for brief moments to watch a sidewalk performer, or anything else that was available for entertainment. There was a musical performer, guitar, had a mellow style like jewel and a pleasantly sad voice. There was also a japanese couple sitting in front of her and she had mentioned that it was her honeymoon. She made the announcement and sang Utada Hikaru's "First Love." I was surprised, happy, sad, and comforted by the song.

Overall, yesterday morning was an adventure. Everything new was different which is good. But by night, i found myself just wanting to talk to the next person from home (well not really, you'll see my comment at the end). As the night progressed, i first spoke Nancy when i landed in Honolulu briefly but had to cut it short as I had to find my way to Waikki. I can't believe that was yesterday. Later I called Christina the moment I knew she would be out of work. Then later i texted Valentina to call me on her way to work which would be at 2 a.m. here. As i should have known, life at work is going on without me which is logically what i wanted. Then again the world doesn't revolve around me... but mine does. I don't want anyone to care... or do I? *what do you know... the only people i talk to about stuff like this are girls... guess things don't change much*

Someone told me something along the lines that life is never gonna always be happy. It's something I never accepted. It shouldn't be that way. There has to be a way. I don't think there is. But I'm finding she's right. You just have to find more happy moments.

Maybe this place will change me. Who knows. I mean even doing something like this, a blog, is out of my character. Irionically, now that I'm thousands of miles away, my life is gonna be an open book. I feel like such a tourist today. The kind I probably would have laughed at before. Well I still do. I never realized how many Japanese tourists are here. The place is highly marketed to them and a lot of things in Waikiki have Japanese and English. Then there's the whole taking everything for granted. Maybe it'll give me a better perspective. I'm still stubborn on that one though and think the attitude will take longer to change.

TO MY FAMILY:
I'm sorry it was so abrupt and i'm sorry for making you sad. If it was less impulsive I don't think i would have left and I don't think that would have been good for me. And it's not that I'm pushing you away, I dropped everything. It's just i have troube talking to you because all I feel is guilt when I do but I'm not changing my mind either yet. Sorry Uncle Peter for the airport. I can say don't worry all I want but that doesn't change anything. As you can see I have to figure this out and work on the family thing as well. It'll get better, I just need to figure it out and I'm good at puzzles but usually unconventional (as Al pointed out) in my methods.

6 comments:

  1. It's good to hear from you little brother. Blog often and keep us updated on your adventures!

    Hawaii looks beautiful (almost as beautiful as dirty Jersey). I hope things are going smoothly. Take your time, enjoy and I hope you find what you're looking for.

    How are things working out w/ no face wash and hair gel? I would probably be unrecognizable as well as unapproachable w/out having those two items. Do you at least have a razor?

    Having not been to a tropical place in several years, i would suggest investing in some sun block. Trust me, sun burn is no fun.

    Ever since you were a kid you always liked and were good at solving problems (me not so much). I hope you figure the big one out, but if you have time you should check out the maze here:

    http://www.dole-plantation.com/

    It is a giant garden maze, and the world's largest at that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wut's up Mr. Wu? Long time, no talk..I'm glad to hear that ur doin ok out there so far..Hawaii looks great, i def gotta come out there sometime (but at the same time i'm kinda sick of tropical islands, due to livin in aruba for 2 yrs)

    Reminds me of when i left nj back in 05' to do the same thing that ur doing rite now (figure out life). Its an unusual feeling, leaving the place u grew up in and know so well, a thrilling/frightening sorta feeling. The first few days r the weirdest, trying to familarize yourself with the place, observing the locals, tryin out 'non-jersey' foods..but at the same time this is the feeling that u probably wanted to experience when u made the decision to leave, or at least it was for me.

    I guess my family had a tough time dealing with it, but they eventually understood i think and said that the door is always open if i wanna come back home. (i'm sure ur family feels the same)..

    I guess some advice, from my own experience, is make friends wherever ya go. U got no choice, u cant block everyone out (not that i'm implyin thats wut ya do or nethin, its jus how i was, and i feel like we mite have the same mentality..). I started opening up a lot about my feelings, (like y i left, wut my hopes r, etc) and it took a load of my brain, and helped me focus on other things better. Suprisingly enough, strangers listen..Other than getting things off ur chest, i'm sure u already got other things planned out, i mean c'mon ur Dave Wu, the man with the brain. Ur a smart kid, u'll always figure things out. Just keep adapting to every new situation or else u'll get bogged down with regret for ur decisions. Dont ever regret ur decisions, its part of life. There are no mistakes, everything happens for a reason, but remember that every day is another moment to change ur life around (haha i think i jus used three differnt movie quotes in one sentence!)

    Alrite Wu, stay positive, keep the updates comin, and take good care of urself buddy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wassup Dave,

    I guess you been busy enough not to give me a call/txt when you landed??

    Man I'm jealous cuz Hawaii does look really beautiful. So how you liking it so far??

    I hope this trip will help you to figure things out that you need answer to. Remember we had little talk before we left from Q-time about how i was thinking about moving to different state to experience different thing? I really wanted to even tho I know i was leaving everyone behind but i just wanted to see what was out there... I ended up staying in jersey but I have no doubt about decision i made to stay here because i have great friends like you, rich, wu & paul. Being at different place & experience different thing will help you to open your eyes to see clearly.

    Yeah your right about life is never going to be happy. Life is like heart monitor, life will always have ups & downs. If life was always happy it's like flat line no ups & down so it'll be pretty boring life.

    When i go through alot you, rich & paul always been there for me. I notice that you do only open up to girls... But remember i will always be here to listen if you need anybody to talk to...

    I'm going to miss you alot because you are my big brother i never had. I know you will take good care of yourself but keep your head up high & be strong. I really hope you figure out what you need...

    keep the updates coming so i know what's going on with you iite??

    take car bro!!!!

    Love,
    Joe

    *no homo*

    ReplyDelete
  4. fuckin WU
    so all i have to say is that a.) you scared the shit outta me at first. . . i don't know you well enough to know that you would pull some crazy shit like this.
    B.) You're gonna miss my bday and that's just not cool
    c.) you better be back for the wedding :(
    Wish you lots of luck, but still hope you'll be back some time soon.
    ~Leanne~

    ReplyDelete
  5. hey, i saw this blog link from another site. it must have taken a lot to just up and do that. i respect it. i've been thinking a little while of just up an moving to hawaii once i get out of school. i'm looking forward to reading more about the experience you had.

    ReplyDelete
  6. If you'd like any advice or anything, please email me. You should be able to find it in my profile. Good luck otherwise! I had a bit of luck on my side in terms of a job. It was a great experience and I hope to have many more eye opening ones.

    ReplyDelete