Choices

So this weekend I was back in Jersey. Mom's birthday was on Friday so I had decided to surprise her. After getting back to Jersey a bit after 11pm, Al picked me up so we could both be there. When we got there, the house was still. Both Mom and Dad were still sound asleep, despite the noise of the garage door and my brother and I creaking up the stairs. I always hated those noises as a teenager. They signaled I was home and usually late. Mom's not such a light sleeper anymore. Can't blame her with dad's snoring. :) So my brother and I are both standing in the rent's bedroom and we gently wake her. Thinking about the moment before, I asked myself, would she just think it was a dream? So she's groggy and surprised and I guess doesn't know what to think at first. So I find myself repeating happy birthday a couple of times. She's delighted to see us. My dad woke up to but there wasn't much of a reaction. I probably would be the same way if I was awoken in the middle of the night. But he seemed glad. Then back to bed...

It was an impromptu trip. It crossed my mind a week or so prior. I wasn't working, just spending my days reading a lot and at the coffee shop, playing a lot of video games, and sleeping even more. Hey, I can get a free tickets with all the miles I traveled to and from Hawaii last year. 4 times to be exact. Why not. So after a brief online booking, I tell my brother a couple of days later and he wants to pick me up. Nice. So I'm all set. I didn't really announce my arrival to anyone except a handful of people. I tend to be good and not announcing my future activities. Maybe cause they're unplanned. Still I had enough time. I suppose I realized when going back to Jersey, that it wasn't very important. Most of my friends know I'll be back one time or another as I popped in and out while I was in Hawaii.

Throughout the week, I had been searching online for a job, so why not look in Jersey. I didn't really plan it out well but it worked and I locked in an interview on that Friday. I should have just extended my trip a bit and got some more in. Returning to Jersey, I found myself pretty occupied that Friday. Interview here, stop by the old office, another appointment, stop by the older office, pick up Mom (thanks for the car), then home for what was supposed to be an hour nap. I was up til 4 am Thursday... drowning in my alertness. Anyway, back to the nap....zzz... zzz... zzz... and 4 hours later. Go out, play some Rockband with the Leaches and Deguzmans. Followed up with some drinks with Deguz. We had a really good conversation. I couldn't recall about details but him and I get into these somewhat philosophical discussions of life. Good times... good times...

Well it's not so important what I did on the trip. At some point or another, in talking and thinking about where I was, what I was doing, I realized, It makes no difference if I'm here or there. Either place, I'm not really doing much, just looking for a job. And so I really start to consider a trip back for an extended but not too extended period of time. After playing some pool with Rich and Nancy, I find out that she has this boxer (I knew that before) and she's going on a vaca this upcoming Friday. Suddenly, a light bulb is hovering around my head. Dogsitting!!! Yes I'm that excited about it. Hey I can make it back here by next Friday if I really wanted to. And that thought persisted all day Sunday. On another note, it was good seeing Angela at QTime. I hadn't seen her in over 2 years because I was elsewhere and so was she. So it was good times again... sitting after the bar closed til 3 am... having some cigs inside... and just chattin about this and that (Lost Boys).

So Sunday, twas my lazy day... wake up late... run some errands... get some coffee... then met up with JK for a bit. Our usual routine outside DnD, talking, smoking... just catchin up. He always has a story and it's great to hear. After that a fantastic dinner by Mom. She's the best cook I know. Not just saying that because I'm her son. Even other extended family and friends would agree. Her pound cake is famous among her co-workers at the hospital, my friends, my brother's friends, and a whole many others. I found it a bit difficult to sleep that night. I was thinking about a couple of things. For awhile I was imagining dogsitting and how much fun it would be. Since I don't have any other obligations, I could spend time playing, sleeping, and eating... just like a dog. Rolling around on the ground, being a bit bothersome to him/her, and just giving him/her all my attention. I've never actually met the dog before but I'm sure it'll like me, cause I like it already. Though I'm still unsettled of what I'm going to do.

After getting back to Avon, here's the plan. All my belongings are packed in my car. I have an interview with American Income Life down in Denver tomorrow. I'm not sure why I'm still going. Possibly because I said I would and also the hope of it being a really good position. If it does turn out to peak my interest, well back to Avon, unpack everything and start considering for a place in Denver. Well I guess I wouldn't unpack everything. Otherwise, as my uncle often said on ski trips in my younger days.... on the road again... and make it back by Thursday.

Oh yeah.... there's this girl in Jersey.... probably the most important factor.... who knows.... but I can dream.

If I wrapped my arms around you, I know everything would be alright...

Love or something like it

Me: I don't want to find out that Karla put him in jail!!! Why would she? There's no benefit for her. Things were good between them... I hope I'm right.... but am jumping to the worst scenario.

Nicole: :) ur in love.

Me: I usually am... I'd be completely lost if I weren't at any given time... whether it be a person, idea, place... or just being in love with wanting to be in love. 

So I was casually reading Shantaram (yes... I'm still reading it.... it's taken me forever) at a Loaded Joe's, a local cafe. I hadn't picked it up in a couple of weeks but no more work and taxes are pretty much done... it's a good time to sit back and just delve into the world of Gregory David Roberts. So there's a character Karla that the main character Lin is in love with. She's alluring... intelligent... observant... manipulative... reserved.... mysterious. Someone who walks into a room and you can't help but watch. Someone to chase... and as many times as you fail... you'll still chase.  They just hooked up and then within 24 hours, he's put in jail for 3 months later. Upon getting out and after some time passes, I find out that she's gone and the person who possibly set him up is an attractive woman. And thus the txt message above....

And onto a broader observation of my own life. Though my understanding of love is limited, at any given time, I am in love with something. For one day back on December 9, 2008, I was in love with Hawaii.... and decided to follow it to the fullest. Other times, it's a girl, hopelessly chasing in my own non-existent manner... often times it's this... the person is raised on a pedestal and idolized from a far... til the day when I can no longer keep quite... and everything goes astray... sometimes it cycles with the same person and it simply becomes understood as how I am and will continue to be in the friendship.

We all need to find something or someone to love. I need something to fight for. Sadly, some struggle is often enough to maintain our attention on life.  In my case, since I lack something to fight for, it has become the journey to find something to fight for. Without it, I'd be a zombie, simply dragging through life. I think I've come across this thought in the past and may be reiterating. When was the last time you asked yourself, what am I fighting for? What's important to you?

 

Beaver Creek Splashdown 2010

 

So on Monday, Beaver Creek held their annual employee splashdown. The mountain closed the day before so we had the mountain to ourselves. They opened the main lift from 10am to 12:30pm for all the employees. It was pretty sweet knowing you can go as fast as you want and not have to deal with other people. So we rode for a couple of hours than they had lunch at Spruce Saddle (a cabin on top of the main lift). Burgers, dogs, salads... your typical barbeque... but on a grand scale. There were so many people up there, some in outrageous costumes, most just chillin, enjoying a free meal.

Then at 1, the splashdown! 50 employees trying to ski or ride over a short pond that my boss built with a cat the day before. The water must have been freezing! They had a competition for best splash, best costumes, and best pond skim. There was this one guy dressed like Apollo Ohno... looked exactly like him! And another girl in an 80's leotard... so cute.... towlie from South Park. There were throwing out freebies and t-shirts and other random crap too.

Rusty! Enjoy Alabama!

Apollo Ohno.

Random person...

Oh yeah... they had this bungie thing there. They've had it all season but it was free for the day (free makes everything better). So I got strapped in and started jumping and flipping. They had some kind of pneumatic system to help you bounce up. I did a flip at first then a forward one.... then a double and finally a triple back flip. Very dizzying experience but fun! It's an odd sensation. At points you're weightless and others you just don't know which way is up. 

It's been a fun season! Ready to move on and would love to work on the mountain again. Perhaps somewhere else at another time.

Some more pics on Picasa.

http://picasaweb.google.com/woogie221u/Splashdown2010#

Losing time

I see you fade to black.... I close my eyes, try to remember a smile but it's feint... it's only been a short while yet it feels like eternity. We've had so many memories over the year, beaches, dinner, movies, hiking... a quick bite at Puka Dog or a failed search for Sacred Falls Trail.... soaking up some sun at your favorite beach... conversations of nothing and everything. Crisp frisbies! Trying to remember... it's tragic that I can't. Looking back on bits and pieces.... I can't quite put it together. I know if I saw you again... it'll all come back... but that's not so easy. I'll see you soon... for a random impulsive moment... and you'll fade again.